“I found a novelty cock water bottle on the street last week. It holds like a can of cola in the dick shaft and it has a straw that comes out the urethra so you can drink from it. I wanted to do something funny with it so I filled it up with apple juice then got RJ to hit the kitchen trampoline in a funny costume and fly over the table as I sprayed the apple juice at him like an epic golden shower. Gordo was on camera duty and totally nailed the shot- that’s why I trust him with things like that because he’s the camera master. Only downside to everything was that RJ ended up doing a lot of cocaine and stole the novelty cock, and I found it covered in lube and shit matter laying on the carpet in his room a few days later when I was playing Tony Hawk. I don’t want to jump to conclusions but I’m pretty sure he jammed it up his ass on the cocaine binge.”

- Page 16 of Journal #5 (December 19th, 2000 - November 6th, 2001)