“Billy almost made me shit my pants the over night. He smoked a bazillion joints at band practice and we got to talking about the band. Anyway, I’ve never seen Billy so stoned and he was like, “We gotta do something BIG to promote the band.” I was like, “Ya, sure. What’s your idea?”. He then dropped the most hilarious, outlandish plan I’ve ever heard. It was so insane that I couldn’t believe it. Cue drum roll- Bill said we should somehow make Bigfoot-styled foot print molds in some kind of ‘form’ and attach these to the bottom of some shoes AND walk around Mount Pleasant Cemetery leaving sasquatch foot impressions in damp soil all over the place. Bill then predicted that people would report the footprints to the authorities and the city would go wild with sasquatch fever, and it would be all over the TV, radio and papers. Then, when the fever was at its peak, we’d go magician-style and pull off the sheet and reveal- through a press release- that “Sasquatch foot prints were done by The Abandoned Hearts Club. Check out their new album…”, and media everywhere would run the story, people would cheer and we’d be like Bon fucking Jovi big. After he told us the plan- which took like 14 minutes because he was so baked and kept hashing it out as he told it- there was a silence then a huge ‘BAAHH HAHAHAHA’ from the entire band. I think RJ was literally rolling on the floor with laughter and Billy’s face then sorta scrunched up when it dawned on him that what he suggested was mondo fucking retarded. I don’t think he’ll ever live that one down. I just love that he cooked something up like that, like that in his baked brain it seemed like a real legit plan.”- Page 16 of Journal #6 (November 17th, 2001- July 17th, 2002)

“Billy almost made me shit my pants the over night. He smoked a bazillion joints at band practice and we got to talking about the band. Anyway, I’ve never seen Billy so stoned and he was like, “We gotta do something BIG to promote the band.” I was like, “Ya, sure. What’s your idea?”. He then dropped the most hilarious, outlandish plan I’ve ever heard. It was so insane that I couldn’t believe it. Cue drum roll- Bill said we should somehow make Bigfoot-styled foot print molds in some kind of ‘form’ and attach these to the bottom of some shoes AND walk around Mount Pleasant Cemetery leaving sasquatch foot impressions in damp soil all over the place. Bill then predicted that people would report the footprints to the authorities and the city would go wild with sasquatch fever, and it would be all over the TV, radio and papers. Then, when the fever was at its peak, we’d go magician-style and pull off the sheet and reveal- through a press release- that “Sasquatch foot prints were done by The Abandoned Hearts Club. Check out their new album…”, and media everywhere would run the story, people would cheer and we’d be like Bon fucking Jovi big. After he told us the plan- which took like 14 minutes because he was so baked and kept hashing it out as he told it- there was a silence then a huge ‘BAAHH HAHAHAHA’ from the entire band. I think RJ was literally rolling on the floor with laughter and Billy’s face then sorta scrunched up when it dawned on him that what he suggested was mondo fucking retarded. I don’t think he’ll ever live that one down. I just love that he cooked something up like that, like that in his baked brain it seemed like a real legit plan.”

- Page 16 of Journal #6 (November 17th, 2001- July 17th, 2002)

“Toronto’s got a statue that commemorates trying to suck your own dick. Word up.”- Page 11 of Journal #5 (December 19th, 2000 - November 6th, 2001)

“Toronto’s got a statue that commemorates trying to suck your own dick. Word up.”

- Page 11 of Journal #5 (December 19th, 2000 - November 6th, 2001)

“Usually when I have no money, I have mo problems but now I got mo money AND Dave naked on my couch rubbing my green notes all over his sack. So, it struck me- Biggie was right. You DO have mo problems when you have mo money.”- Page 8 of Journal #5 (December 19th, 2000 - November 6th, 2001)

“Usually when I have no money, I have mo problems but now I got mo money AND Dave naked on my couch rubbing my green notes all over his sack. So, it struck me- Biggie was right. You DO have mo problems when you have mo money.”

- Page 8 of Journal #5 (December 19th, 2000 - November 6th, 2001)

“Gordo brought home the bacon! Dude stole a fucking photocopier from work- like straight up looted it. My head almost whipped around Exorcist-style from excitement when he cruised in with it. I’ve always wanted a photocopier so I could print my own show fliers and make zines. He put it on the kitchen table and we huddled around it in anticipation. He plugged it in and in my brain I was like, “Oh yes, spit out copies motherfucker!” but it didn’t spit out shit. Fucking thing’s broken. Everyone let out a team sigh then someone chucked it out the backdoor and Rob beat the fuck out of it with a shovel in the yard.” - Page 33 of Journal #4 (April 14th, 2000 - December 19th, 2000)

“Gordo brought home the bacon! Dude stole a fucking photocopier from work- like straight up looted it. My head almost whipped around Exorcist-style from excitement when he cruised in with it. I’ve always wanted a photocopier so I could print my own show fliers and make zines. He put it on the kitchen table and we huddled around it in anticipation. He plugged it in and in my brain I was like, “Oh yes, spit out copies motherfucker!” but it didn’t spit out shit. Fucking thing’s broken. Everyone let out a team sigh then someone chucked it out the backdoor and Rob beat the fuck out of it with a shovel in the yard.”

- Page 33 of Journal #4 (April 14th, 2000 - December 19th, 2000)

“Geeg is house sitting a place that’s full of swords and conicals so we made a photo.”- Page 17 of Journal #6 (November 17th, 2001- July 17th, 2002)

“Geeg is house sitting a place that’s full of swords and conicals so we made a photo.”

- Page 17 of Journal #6 (November 17th, 2001- July 17th, 2002)

“This photo is totally staged. RJ and Gordo are straight edge so they don’t drink. Most of the time it’s just Dave and I pounding brews. Anyway, I told everyone to act out a party scene so I could make my own memory- so if I have kids one day I can show ‘em this and they’ll know I use to get down. Plus, it’s better to stage this than take a picture of the truth- all of us around the TV playing Zelda like fucking nerds.”- Page 14 of Journal #4 (April 14th, 2000 - December 19th, 2000)

“This photo is totally staged. RJ and Gordo are straight edge so they don’t drink. Most of the time it’s just Dave and I pounding brews. Anyway, I told everyone to act out a party scene so I could make my own memory- so if I have kids one day I can show ‘em this and they’ll know I use to get down. Plus, it’s better to stage this than take a picture of the truth- all of us around the TV playing Zelda like fucking nerds.”

- Page 14 of Journal #4 (April 14th, 2000 - December 19th, 2000)

“Cleaned out the shed tonight and found a bunch of sporting shit. So, we taped some skis we found in there to our skateboards then taped roman candles on the front of the the skies to make like ski-board-cannons. Anyway, I’d never ride that shit- I’m not that stupid. But, RJ was willing. So, we got him up at the top of Christie Pitts near that crumbly death path and taped his feet around the skis and skateboards. I ran down the hill so I’d be in a prime photographing position then the guys lit the fireworks and pushed him down the path. At first I thought it was a bust as RJ was using the ski poles to get even more speed but then he was like mach 3 speed with the fireworks fucking exploding everywhere and it was the BEST shit I’ve ever seen. I nearly shit / pissed my soccer shorts from laughing so hard. It was so loud and every time the firecracker shot, RJ would almost lose his balance but he was actually taped in so he was contorting the way a cat does when you throw it out a window. Fuck, the contraption was a total success and RJ didn’t bail / die. We then hauled ass ‘cause I could hear sirens and I wasn’t getting arrested for this shit.”- Page 28 of Journal #6 (November 17th, 2001- July 17th, 2002)

“Cleaned out the shed tonight and found a bunch of sporting shit. So, we taped some skis we found in there to our skateboards then taped roman candles on the front of the the skies to make like ski-board-cannons. Anyway, I’d never ride that shit- I’m not that stupid. But, RJ was willing. So, we got him up at the top of Christie Pitts near that crumbly death path and taped his feet around the skis and skateboards. I ran down the hill so I’d be in a prime photographing position then the guys lit the fireworks and pushed him down the path. At first I thought it was a bust as RJ was using the ski poles to get even more speed but then he was like mach 3 speed with the fireworks fucking exploding everywhere and it was the BEST shit I’ve ever seen. I nearly shit / pissed my soccer shorts from laughing so hard. It was so loud and every time the firecracker shot, RJ would almost lose his balance but he was actually taped in so he was contorting the way a cat does when you throw it out a window. Fuck, the contraption was a total success and RJ didn’t bail / die. We then hauled ass ‘cause I could hear sirens and I wasn’t getting arrested for this shit.”


- Page 28 of Journal #6 (November 17th, 2001- July 17th, 2002)

“So weird. Dave started smoking.”- Page 7 of Journal #5 (December 19th, 2000 - November 6th, 2001)

“So weird. Dave started smoking.”

- Page 7 of Journal #5 (December 19th, 2000 - November 6th, 2001)

“Mad motherfucking drama this past week. So Rob and Gordo fight like brothers- that’s nothing new. Anyway, Rob came home one day and was locked out because he forgot his keys inside. So he rang the doorbell and banged on the door to no avail. He then went out back and saw that there was a light on in Gordo’s room and he could hear tunes so he started chucking rocks at Gordo’s window, and Gordo didn’t acknowledge it so Rob fucked off for a few hours and when he came back I was home and let him in. He was pissed and was like, “Man, Gordo was home, I know he was home and he didn’t let me in.” Then, Gordo came home later and Rob confronted Gordo and Gordo was like, “Yeah, I was home but I was getting laid. You wanted me to stop and let you in? That would’ve killed everything.” To which Rob was like, “Dude, it was fucking freezing out there and would’ve taken you 5 seconds to open the door.” Anyway, they continued to squabble and Gordo wasn’t apologetic and Rob was mad. I didn’t take sides. I didn’t really care- it was between them. So, fast forward a few days and Gordo locks himself out, and who’s the only one home? Rob! So, what does Rob do? He totally ignores Gordo as payback but then he hears all this noise and looks out of his window and sees Gordo yanking on the security grill over Gordo’s bedroom window trying to break into his own room. He doesn’t let Gordo in, Gordo can’t break in so Gordo fucks off for a few hours then comes back when someone is home. A few days pass and our landlord is sniffing around outside and rings the door and is like, “Why is the window grill trashed? You guys gotta pay to have it fixed asap.” So, Rob confronts Gordo and is like, “Hey Man, I saw you yanking on the grill and now it’s fucked and the landlord wants you to fix it ‘cause he’s pissed” to which Gordo is like, “No, I didn’t do it. I heard someone trying to break in the other night.” Rob’s like, “So, someone tried to break in and you didn’t tell us? You didn’t call the cops? Bullshit!” And, Gordo maintains his innocence. So, Rob comes to me and is like, “Yo, Gordo broke his window, I saw him yanking on it and he’s not admitting to it and now all of us are going to get stuck with the bill.” While Rob and I have our differences, I know he’s not one to fib and he’s very respectful of everyone in the house so my inclination was to believe him. However, I was like, “Rob, I totally believe you but it’s your word against his word and I don’t know how we settle this.” I told him I’d think about it. I then approached Gordo and was like, “Rob said you fucked the window, I’m inclined to believe Rob, I don’t care if you guys are battling just right your wrong as it’s unfair of you to pin this on us and make us pay” to which Gordo was like, “No, I didn’t do it.” and I could just tell Gordo was lying. It was just real bullshitty. So I go to Rob’s room and I’m like, “Dude, Gordo did it but he ain’t admitting to it.” And, I had a plan to get this sorted. So, Gordo goes out that afternoon and I tell Rob to go into Gordo’s room and put on the exact clothes Gordo was in when Rob saw him fucking the window. I then instruct Rob to re-enact Gordo yanking on the window and I get on the roof and I take a polaroid of Rob in Gordo’s clothes ‘breaking in’. I go down and show it to Rob and he’s like, “That’s exactly what it looked like!”. I then tell Rob that we’re going to ambush Gordo and have Rob show him the polaroid and go, “When you were breaking in, I ran to Ben’s room, grabbed his camera and shot this of you.” We were howling- it was a genius plan but we wanted to to really beef up the drama / be able to record it so we could watch it with everyone and laugh our asses off. So, Rob and I go into the kitchen and install an interrogation-like room lamp and get RJ’s video camera. Rob had the polaroid, I had the video camera and we sat in the kitchen waiting for Gordo. He came home like an hour later and Rob called him into the kitchen. He walked in and was weirded out ‘cause he knew something was up as the lights were off and we just got the one lamp on. Rob and I are on one side of the table and Rob tells Gordo to sit on the other side of the table. Gordo sits down and I turn on the camera to record him and Rob’s like, “Okay, for the last time- did you fuck the window up?” Gordo’s a little nervous but replies, “No man. I saw someone trying to break in.” Rob interrogates him a little longer then ‘ninja stars’ the polaroid across the table right in front of Gordo, and Gordo looks down at it and looks up at us and just goes, “Busted!” as he’s red in the face realizing I’m videotaping this. Rob is like, “Burn, dude. That’s not even you! That’s me dressed AS YOU! Ben shot that polaroid- it’s totally fucking fake.” Gordo then starts laughing and is like, “Aw, fuck! You guys got me good. Fine. That was me! I’ll fix it.” Christ, took so much goddamn time and effort to get to the truth. Those two- they’re something else!!!”- Page 19 of Journal #5 (December 19th, 2000 - November 6th, 2001)

“Mad motherfucking drama this past week. So Rob and Gordo fight like brothers- that’s nothing new. Anyway, Rob came home one day and was locked out because he forgot his keys inside. So he rang the doorbell and banged on the door to no avail. He then went out back and saw that there was a light on in Gordo’s room and he could hear tunes so he started chucking rocks at Gordo’s window, and Gordo didn’t acknowledge it so Rob fucked off for a few hours and when he came back I was home and let him in. He was pissed and was like, “Man, Gordo was home, I know he was home and he didn’t let me in.” Then, Gordo came home later and Rob confronted Gordo and Gordo was like, “Yeah, I was home but I was getting laid. You wanted me to stop and let you in? That would’ve killed everything.” To which Rob was like, “Dude, it was fucking freezing out there and would’ve taken you 5 seconds to open the door.” Anyway, they continued to squabble and Gordo wasn’t apologetic and Rob was mad. I didn’t take sides. I didn’t really care- it was between them. So, fast forward a few days and Gordo locks himself out, and who’s the only one home? Rob! So, what does Rob do? He totally ignores Gordo as payback but then he hears all this noise and looks out of his window and sees Gordo yanking on the security grill over Gordo’s bedroom window trying to break into his own room. He doesn’t let Gordo in, Gordo can’t break in so Gordo fucks off for a few hours then comes back when someone is home. A few days pass and our landlord is sniffing around outside and rings the door and is like, “Why is the window grill trashed? You guys gotta pay to have it fixed asap.” So, Rob confronts Gordo and is like, “Hey Man, I saw you yanking on the grill and now it’s fucked and the landlord wants you to fix it ‘cause he’s pissed” to which Gordo is like, “No, I didn’t do it. I heard someone trying to break in the other night.” Rob’s like, “So, someone tried to break in and you didn’t tell us? You didn’t call the cops? Bullshit!” And, Gordo maintains his innocence. So, Rob comes to me and is like, “Yo, Gordo broke his window, I saw him yanking on it and he’s not admitting to it and now all of us are going to get stuck with the bill.” While Rob and I have our differences, I know he’s not one to fib and he’s very respectful of everyone in the house so my inclination was to believe him. However, I was like, “Rob, I totally believe you but it’s your word against his word and I don’t know how we settle this.” I told him I’d think about it. I then approached Gordo and was like, “Rob said you fucked the window, I’m inclined to believe Rob, I don’t care if you guys are battling just right your wrong as it’s unfair of you to pin this on us and make us pay” to which Gordo was like, “No, I didn’t do it.” and I could just tell Gordo was lying. It was just real bullshitty. So I go to Rob’s room and I’m like, “Dude, Gordo did it but he ain’t admitting to it.” And, I had a plan to get this sorted. So, Gordo goes out that afternoon and I tell Rob to go into Gordo’s room and put on the exact clothes Gordo was in when Rob saw him fucking the window. I then instruct Rob to re-enact Gordo yanking on the window and I get on the roof and I take a polaroid of Rob in Gordo’s clothes ‘breaking in’. I go down and show it to Rob and he’s like, “That’s exactly what it looked like!”. I then tell Rob that we’re going to ambush Gordo and have Rob show him the polaroid and go, “When you were breaking in, I ran to Ben’s room, grabbed his camera and shot this of you.” We were howling- it was a genius plan but we wanted to to really beef up the drama / be able to record it so we could watch it with everyone and laugh our asses off. So, Rob and I go into the kitchen and install an interrogation-like room lamp and get RJ’s video camera. Rob had the polaroid, I had the video camera and we sat in the kitchen waiting for Gordo. He came home like an hour later and Rob called him into the kitchen. He walked in and was weirded out ‘cause he knew something was up as the lights were off and we just got the one lamp on. Rob and I are on one side of the table and Rob tells Gordo to sit on the other side of the table. Gordo sits down and I turn on the camera to record him and Rob’s like, “Okay, for the last time- did you fuck the window up?” Gordo’s a little nervous but replies, “No man. I saw someone trying to break in.” Rob interrogates him a little longer then ‘ninja stars’ the polaroid across the table right in front of Gordo, and Gordo looks down at it and looks up at us and just goes, “Busted!” as he’s red in the face realizing I’m videotaping this. Rob is like, “Burn, dude. That’s not even you! That’s me dressed AS YOU! Ben shot that polaroid- it’s totally fucking fake.” Gordo then starts laughing and is like, “Aw, fuck! You guys got me good. Fine. That was me! I’ll fix it.” Christ, took so much goddamn time and effort to get to the truth. Those two- they’re something else!!!”

- Page 19 of Journal #5 (December 19th, 2000 - November 6th, 2001)

“Gordo’s been in a weird-ass gothy mood lately. He’s always in his room listening to Radiohead with the lights out. When I went in tonight, he had his whole table covered in candles. It looked cool as shit. However, guy fell asleep a little while later and some of the candles melted down and lit the table on fire. Luckily, Gordie woke up and put out the fire. His table is ruined and his room stinks like shit but at least he didn’t burn down the house and kill the lot of us.”- Page 34 of Journal #4 (April 14th, 2000 - December 19th, 2000)

“Gordo’s been in a weird-ass gothy mood lately. He’s always in his room listening to Radiohead with the lights out. When I went in tonight, he had his whole table covered in candles. It looked cool as shit. However, guy fell asleep a little while later and some of the candles melted down and lit the table on fire. Luckily, Gordie woke up and put out the fire. His table is ruined and his room stinks like shit but at least he didn’t burn down the house and kill the lot of us.”

- Page 34 of Journal #4 (April 14th, 2000 - December 19th, 2000)